Incognitus

Julio's here

2005-08-19T23:17:00.000-10:00

Julio's here so I can't write a lot. Only the D&F. He leaves 2morrow morning :'(

Yesterday's D&F:

Breakfast: maple brown sugar oatmeal w/ 2% milk at 6:45am
Lunch: turkey and cheese sandwich with a bit of mayo on wheat bread and a few slices of canteloupe @ 12:45pm
exercise: volleyball practice @ 6:00-7:45pm
dinner: 12" subway sandwich with turkey, american cheese, shredded cheddar cheese, bacon (toasted) lettuce, tomato, and mayo on wheat bread w/ water @ 10:15pm.

Extra: none that i can remember.... :p!

TODAYS D&F:

Breakfast: Cinnamon & spice oatmeal @ 5:30am
Exercise: volleyball practice @ 5:45-7:20am
Snack: 1 bite of mcdonalds biscuit and hashbrown @ 7:45am
Lunch: Nature valley granola bar, granola yoplait yogurt, special K bar chocolate drizzle, grapes @ 12:45pm
snack: frozen lemonade from country club @ 5:00pm
Dinner: chicken sandwich with melted kraft singles cheese, mayo, lettuce, and tomato w/ water yogurt with walnuts, a bite of cocoa puffs, a taste of chocolate ice cream @ 8:30pm

Extra: a couple starbursts and jolly ranchers and 1 tootsie roll pop.. oh and a couple premium saltine crackers

OKAY WELL I GOTTA GO! luv--taylorrr xoxoxoxo

Hurry Up!

2005-08-18T07:20:00.000-10:00

You guys! I'm late to school this morning and I am getting online to blog to you all! I gotta go big time, but I just wanted to say that yesterday in my volleyball practice we talked about the game and unity and I think that we are going to find a way to really come together and it is really gonna work out in the end. WE ARE GOING TO WIN EVERY SINGLE GAME!
I am also online because I have to find out the meaning of the number 12 and it's symbolism in literature--Grendel. Whatever I don't have time to explain to you the complexity of my new senior classes right now... but in time, young Jedi. Lol! I'm just kidding with you guys, but for real I will have more time soon enough.

Yesterday's D&F:

Breakfast: strawberry yoplait yogurt mixed with nature valley granola bar @ 6:45am
Lunch: cold leftover reggatoni pasta, a cup of homemade tapioca, and water @ 12:45pm
Snack: a few pieces of more leftover pasta and a bite of spaghetti @ 3:30pm, a bite of granola @ 5:00pm
Dinner: the rest of the leftover reggatoni pasta, a scrambled egg sandwich with mayo

Extra: none again!!! yaayyy!!!

OKAY NOW IT'S 7:20 AND I GOTTA HAUL ASS BYE!! ---taylor xoxoxoxox

and... I'm... BACK In The GAME!!

2005-08-16T12:06:00.000-10:00

HELL YEAH!! I DOMINATED AGAINST LBJ 2DAY!! Both my coaches told me I had an awesome game, and I know it too! I am sooo out of my "slump"! I love it. Others did not do so well, however, and we unfortunately took them to 4 games and lost 27-25. IT SUCKED! Yeah... but I did really well and that's all I pretty much care about, LOL.

Todays D&F:

Breakfast: Cinnamon spice oatmeal w/ 2% milk @ 6:35am
Lunch: Turkey, cheese, and mayo sandwich on wheat bread & an apple @ 12:45pm
Snack: a few almonds, 1 chick-fil-a nugget, 1 sweet tart lollipop
Exercise: volleyball game @ 7:45pm-9:20pm
Dinner: Subway sanwich (6 inch turkey on wheat bread w/ salami, american cheese, shredded cheddar cheese, bacon--toasted--lettuce, tomato, and mayo) w/ water. (also had 1 "mustang" sushi roll)
Dessert: 3 spoonfuls of wendy's chocolate frostie

Extra: a lil bit of tapioca, 2 pieces of leftover pasta, 1 tootsie roll pop (did not eat the tootsie roll part!)

Lol, the lil bits of tasting are okay tho... I try not to at all but sometimes I just gotta have that lick of peanut butter or jelly or lil bite of something... but for the most part I don't. And when it's susper tiny I don't include it in the D&F. OH and I never include gum because I have so much of it and it's just pushing it too far. But hey I gotta go do homework. The game was awesome! I am so excited for myself and my team and boy am I PUMPED!!!

GO LADY KNIGHTS ---Taylor! xoxoxoxox

It's late :(

2005-08-15T12:14:00.000-10:00

Today's D&F:

Breakfast: 1 piece of wheat toast with some red plum smucker's jelly @ 6:45am
Lunch: 2 hard boiled eggs, strawberry yoplait yogurt, and nature valley granola bar (fruit & nuts) @ 12:15pm
Snack: a few pieces of melon @ 4:45pm
Exercise: volleyball practice @ 6:00pm-8:00pm
Dinner: reggatio? pasta with marinara sauce w/ water @ 8:30pm

Extra: NONE! YAYYY!! we're doin good!!

I gotta go... It's really late. But 2morrow I am going to post on our volleyball game against LBJ and about how school has been going. :) byes!!

--taylor-- xoxoxox

Night Time Touch Up

2005-08-14T22:53:00.000-10:00

Today's D&F:

Breakfast: 2 pieces of white toast with jelly, scrambled eggs, and a slice of melon w/ orange juice @ 11:30am
Lunch: Tuna sandwich (some mayo) w/ some skim milk @ 3:00pm
Exercise: Trail run on treadmill (30 minutes) a lil bit of arms and abs afterwards @ 7:00pm
Dinner: Large Escamocha from La Paletera @ 9:00pm (it's a cup of fruit--apple, coconut, watermelon, mango, pineapple, melon, kiwi--mixed with yogurt and granola)

Extra: 1 tootsie roll pop

I have noticed that I have been treating myself to a lot of tootsie roll pops lately. Hahaha, and I have also noticed that I havent been having as much yogurt with granola. I can't get stuck on the tootsie roll pop thing though because they are not good for me. Tomorrow is the official first day of school so I will begin my new healthy lifestyle. I will try to eliminate treats completely, and if I do have some there will be more of a variety. Sounds good. Right now My mom is watching the movie Boondock Saints. We both have never seen it before. It looks okay. I guess I should go accompany her and watch it with her. Julio is at home sick. I don't know why he got sick, it just happened.

I have also noticed that I usually post when I don't have time to write, so they become limited to D&F's only and they are not very detailed or interesting. I will try to put a stop to this, but I don't know how it will work with school starting from now on.

Anyways, I want to wake up 2morrow morning and exercise before going to school, only I just took a shower and my hair is ready for 2morrow, and I don't want to have to take a whole nother shower again before going to school. That is always my dilemma: hair. It is the sole issue of whether or not I am going to exercise because it always entitles washing. And if it's straightened there is no way I am going to wash it, so there is no exercise. :( buuuu. Hahaha.

Okays, well after tomorrow there will be more to write about. Gotta go. Byes..

--taylor-- xoxoxoxoxo

No time to talk

2005-08-14T22:27:00.000-10:00

Yesterday's D&F:

Breakfast: 1 piece of wheat toast with peanut butter @ 9:45am
Exercise: Volleyball game @ 12:00pm
Lunch: 3 slices of Dominoe's pizza @ 3:30pm
Snack: 1 tootsie roll pop
Exercise: Power Hike on treadmill (20 minutes) @ 7:00pm
Dinner: Original plain oatmeal @ 8:00pm

Extra: 1 tootsie roll pop

Did not do so good yesterday... but it's all right. In short: my breakdown the other night was because I have been doing bad in volleyball and all the other little stressful things that have been going on in my life have been adding up and I think they all piled up together. No money, I am moving, applying to college, breaking up with my boyfriend, allll this little stuff just has been pulling me down. I started crying at my game, and the next day when I had another one they didn't play me at all so I cried again. I feel like I am a bencher now. It doesn't make sense because I used to start last year as a junior. Now this year as a senior I am on the bench? AH, I can't take it. I know I am better than half the people there and in the best shape ever so I don't get why I have been messing up and losing confidence. However, I feel that I am going to use the power of auto-suggestion (look it up, it works miracles) to induce confidence into my self-esteem and positive thoughts. This should help. I am a little nervous about going to practice 2morrow but I think I am just in a slump that I am going to overcome quickly. I shoudn't let it get to me. That is when negativity wins. When you let it win. I refuse to let it win. I am going to look at this time in my life as a test. A test to see exactly how strong I can be and prove myself. It's gonna be a tough ride, but hey... it could be worse right? SMILE. SMILE. SMILE. I am confident. I am happy. Hhaha.. my mantra... lol jk. When worse comes to worse, listen to Britney Spears. She always puts me in a good mood. I guess I just need happy thoughts, right? I am ready to boost up my self-esteem, and 2morrow when I hit the court. They'll see what I'm all about. If I don't start, fuck them, I still know I'm the best. And anyways, life isn't about high school volleyball--there is so much more out there. And when I get it........ well, you just wait and see.

Wow, I feel so much better letting all that out. Damn, I have to study for my first test on Tuesday. Amazing! We already are having a test! Well, it's an english test on our summer reading, that's why it's so early. Well... I guess I gotta go get to that.

Oh, p.s.--I think I am back with Julio. Things are cool again. I am glad. He leaves to college next weekend. Let's see how that goes :(

Life goes on... -- taylor xoxoxo

Breakdown

2005-08-13T05:00:00.000-10:00

Quickly... yesterday's D&F:

Breakfast: 1 piece of wheat toast with peanut butter @ 7:00am
Lunch: Grilled Chicken Caesar salad from Fuddruckers with sweetened Nestea @ 1:00pm
Exercise: Volleyball game @ 7pm
Dinner: Subway turkey breast and bacon melt wrap w/ water @ 9pm

Extra: 1 tootsie roll pop, around 15 smoothie skittles, and a couple slices of pineapple

We won our game against Pearsall... I can't really talk abut it right now for 2 reasons: It was really dramatic, I brokedown and started crying.. which I will explain later, and I have to be at school in an hour for another game. So when I come back I will talk about both. Sorry.

--taylor-- :(

Senior

2005-08-11T22:00:00.000-10:00

D&F for today:

Breakfast: Bannana Oatmeal @ 6:50am
Snack: Tootsie Roll Pop @ 9:30am
Lunch: Turkey & Bacon melt from Subway on 6" wheat w/ water @ 3:00pm
Exercise: Volleyball practice @ 6:00pm-8:10pm
Dinner: Turkey, Salami, & Kraft singles cheese w/ a lil bit of mayo sandwich @ 8:30pm
Dessert: Strawberry Bannana Yoplait yogurt mixed w/ Oatmeal Raisin chewy granola

Extra: Spoonful of Skippy peanut butter and another tootsie roll pop

Today was the first day of skool. I thought it was gonna be awesome, but it sucked. First of all, we have to get to school earlier than usual (5 minutes goes a long way in the morning). Then, I find the worse news. All my classes have a max of about 15 people. ONLY FIFTEEN!! This is because all the kids in my senior class are too lazy to take any sciences or maths, so they dropped them all to take arts. Bull-shit. I am pissed. Now I am left with all the nerdy kids in a class small enough to hear the whisper of a mouse. On top of that, the AC was set to full blast and I practically finished the day in an ice cube. How horrible. OH, and it's not over. My schedule was messed up and I had to go after school to change it and the line to wait was longer than .... i can't think of a metaphor... but still, it was super long. I waited with Katie until 2pm until we decided: Fuck this. We are going to go back 2morrow morning to see if we can fix our schedules. I hope it's not all changed all over again because I will only be more agravated.

Hopefully this bad first day does not foreshadow a bad year.

p.s. wish us good luck in our game tomorrow vs. pearsall

gotta go--Julio's outside.... bye--taylor xoxoxoxo

Rise and Shine Campers and Counselors....

2005-08-11T06:45:00.000-10:00

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

Okay, first things first: yesterday's D&F.

Breakfast--1 piece of wheat toast with Smuckers Red Raspberry jelly and Skippy peanut butter @ 10:10am
Exercise--workout at home (intensive dancing and aerobics w/ lots of abs and legs) for 1 hour @ 12:30pm
Lunch--Homemade Spaghetti with mushrooms and Ragu tomato sauce w/water @ 2:30pm
Exercise--Volleyball practice @ 6pm-8pm
Dinner--Scrambled egg sandwich with a lil bit of mayo @ 8:30pm
Dessert--Yogurt mixed with 2 chewy granola bars (one Baked Apple and one Oatmeal Raisin)

Extra--NONE!! yaayy!!!

Okay! So I just wanted to start off the new school year fresh. But now I have to go because it is 6:52am and I have to be at school between 7:55am and 8:00am. Dammit. I hope I have an easy homeroom teacher who will let me get late to school every day. Fingers crossed! Gotta go. Will post lata. Luv y'all.

--taylor--

Last Day

2005-08-10T11:31:00.000-10:00

Today is the official last day of summer. I guess I should make it good, right? Well, there is still nothing to do. It's okay tho. A new year is about to start. I am super duper excited to be a senior. I think it might be stressful at times, but hey! that's the whole fun about it, right? Here we go. Get Ready.

The D&F (every time it is going to be of the previous day... for example this one is from yesterday--tuesday)

Breakfast--Maple&Brown Sugar Oatmeal (w/ skim milk) and a tablespoon of Smucker's Red Raspberry jelly @ 11:25am
Exercise--Went to The Gym; did 15min of elliptical machine, 10min arms, 20min abs @ 1:45pm-2:35pm
Lunch--Grilled Chicken Caesar salad w/ water at Chili's @ 3:30pm
Exercise--Volleyball game @ 7pm
Dinner--Beef Filet with melted Kraft singles cheese in a toasted wheat sandwich and a little bit of mayo & orange juice @ 9:30pm

Extra--1 tootsie roll pop and 4 smart candies (again @ katie's :P)

*Note to self: watch out for Temptation Island--a.k.a. LaMantia house.

So, doing much better! This time I almost went completely without an extra! And the little extra that I did have was pretty minimal. The only extra things I don't track are gum because I refuse to be counting how many pieces I have a day. That is the one thing that I can't be too strict about... I mean, then I would be a little exaggerating, wouldn't I?

*Note to self: buy food for school lunches.

...well... I have nothing interesting to blog about as of yet. So, maybe by tonight I will have cooked up some food for thought. ;)

--taylor xoxoxox

Defeat...

2005-08-09T16:54:00.000-10:00

Whoever said, "It's not whether you win or lose that counts," probably lost.

Tonight we had our first official volleyball game of the season. IT SUCKED. I sucked. Everyone sucked. Well, I mean not big time, but it was pretty "pitiful"--as Katie would put it. The way we play is best 3 out of 5 games that go to 25 pts. rally scoring. The first game was horrible. I think we lost like 25-7 or something horribly similar to that score. At first I saw that we were doing badly and I could see it clearly. When it was my turn to go in, however, I messed up just the same. It was weird because I didn't feel nervous at all! I guess I was just not thinking clearly or something. I stepped it up the second game and we did much better. We lost by 2 points. 28-26. The third game I did better, but the rest of us still seemed out of it. I don't know what happened. Since this is my blog and none of my friends really read it... I guess I am just gonna feel free to express myself to full extent.

These are the mistakes from today's game. I'll begin with myself.

Alana-- did not move to ball quick enough; did not pass to the setter; could not read whether ball was in or out; stood up/jumped when passing; need to talk it up (LEADERSHIP SENIORS)

*Note to self: STAY LOW

Arleen-- sets need to be lower; sets need to be off the net; need to be quicker on cover (more leadership)
Katie--passes a little higher; need to be able to use any set even if not perfect; needs to talk it up so as to not collide; cannot yell/be angry; needs to TRUST teammates ;) iluvya katerz its all good
Angelique--needs to watch where she's going and not get in the way; needs to be a little quicker (more confidence)
Nemo--needs to talk it up also so as not to collide; cover; less shanks (same with pretty much everyone)
Andy--needs to be more aggressive at the net; play smart; move feet quicker to ball; HIT IT HARD AND KILL IT BROO U CAN DO IT DONT BE SCARED! (ahah i just felt like i needed to add that)
Lauren--needs to be a lil bit more confident of herself; needs to pick up her game--more aggressive at the net!; needs more cordination on hittin that ball--has to do with approach as well.
Teenie and Ericka--good job cheerin on the team keep up the good work and stay in there buddies!

That's my observation. Our team needs to play OUR game. When we're having fun and we're confident that we are the better team then we kick ass, but when we feel slightly nervous/intimidated/out of it... then we start messing up bad. Then it doesn't help when people start putting themselves down (me) or putting others down (katie--sorry bro but its tru). It's okay tho cuz we've talked about it and she knows what her weakness is... now its all about changing it. She's just gotta know that it's not gonna help to be putting others down cuz then they really won't ever get back up and it'll get worse. They too have to learn to play together as a team and if it means that katies got a lil anger in her then we all gotta just 1-2-3 USE IT! hahaha im jk. We too have to help her out as well by acknowledging our own weaknesses and changing them as well.

I am really excited for my team this year. It was our first game, with an improved team (only 9 girls!) and a new defense/rotation. I know that with more practice, by our next game we will certainly kick ASS! I can't wait until we get into the rythm of things and start meshing like sistas. Then no one will be able to stop us. We have no excuses this year ladies. We always said we wanted a small, perfect team with the best players and no one else with bad attitudes or no love for the game butting in, right? Well now is our chance! Pearsall on Friday baby... 2 days to get ready... I am... and then LBJ/FREER on saturday. For sures. This is gonna be a winner weekend.

-----One for All and All for One.------- St. Aug Volleyball 2005-2006

Image

2005-08-09T07:29:00.000-10:00

Yesterday's Diet & Fitness:

Breakfast: 1 piece of wheat toast with Smucker's raspberry jelly @ 10:15am
Exercise: Walked briskly on treadmill with 5lb. weights for 5 minutes (worked arms) and then did abs/inner thighs for about 10 minutes @ 12:15pm
Lunch: Turkey Breast & Bacon Melt Wrap from Subway @ 2:30pm
--Slept from 3:00-4:30--
Snack:Yoplait Strawberry Bannana yogurt mixed w/ Oatmeal Raisin chewy granola bar @ 4:35pm
Exercise: Volleyball practice from 5:30-7:00pm and Cross Country from 7:00-8:10pm
Dinner: Beef Filet cooked with fried broccoli @ 9pm
Dessert: small Mango milkshake from La Paletera @ 9:45pm
Extra: a few (about 10-12) smoothie skittles at Katie's house @ 11:30pm

How does that look? I think that's about a typical day. I'm not sure... but I think I decided to track my everyday "Diet & Fitness" to see from afar my achievements. For example... from here I can see that I killed the day with the mango milkshake and the skittles. A little extra that I did not need. However, I always feel like I eat pretty healthy and that I deserve small treats like those. I guess not. This is my everyday struggle. How much to exercise and how little to eat. In the end, however, the weight doesn't change. If anything it adds on. I desperately need to lose 5 lbs. My problem areas are inner thighs and hips/lower abdomen. That's all. If I could tone those 2 areas and lose about 5 lbs. all around I would be more than satisfied. I would be ecstatic. Oh and then of course be taller, grow bigger boobs, and be the spitting image of Kate Beckingsale. LoL. She's my second choice after Britney Spears of course (my #1), only right now Britney is fat, pregnant, and trashy. So until she cleans up her act I am going to focus on Kate. However, being vertically challenged (at 5"2'), I think I should focus more on celebrities like Brittany Murphy, Eva Longoria, and Jessica Simpson.

Anyways, right now my weight is floating between 110 and 114. Everyday it's give or take 3-4 lbs. But I want to be floating UNDER the 110 mark. I want to be between 107 and 110. So that means I have to lose a good 5-7 lbs. I really need them. And it really kills me too because I am the most strict person I know when it comes to food intake. I never indulge. EVer! I onLY have water all day every day, I pretty much never eat in between meals, and I never eat dessert. Yesterday was an exception I guess. I snacked the yogurt because I didn't want my hypergymnasic body running out of energy with all the exercise coming up. The mango milkshake was a little treat for working so hard, and the skittles were just a little TINY mistake that I don't think were that big of a deal. So I really only messed up with the mango and the skittles, but it's okay because my mistakes from yesterday are tomorrows achievements, right? RIGHT! Once I eliminate those things I will be eating pretty much perfectly I believe. Now it's all about burning more calories than I intake. Which is the hard part because the more I exercise, the more calories my body craves! The good part is that I am extremely determined. I have been looking better and better every year and I am totally sure that by the end of this year I will be at my perfect goal. (Probably by the end of September, actually).

Check this out... when I was in 7th grade I weighed 135-140 lbs.(I gained weight when I moved to New Hampshire because I no longer had the year-round aquatic sports I had so regularly in California--in 5th grade I was only 100lbs). In 8th I was 130-135 (i joined volleyball and basketball, but ate really bad). In 9th grade I weighed 125-130lbs. (I joined softball and was not ravenous, but not a healthy eater). Sophomore year I weighed 120-125lbs. and I ate unhealthy until January when I decided to change my hot cheeto/chicken with cheese/burger with fries/sprite every day habits. That year in June I decided I would never eat bad again... and for the most part I haven't. That means I have been "starving" for a year exactly. Well, not starving, but missing out on life's treats. That summer I lost a good amount of weight and I was eating pretty healthy. I would swim practically all day and I would run often. Then, all of Junior year was a success. I exercised on my own regularly (a LOT of running and going to the gym--a lot of abs) and I even joined track at the end of the year. At the beginning of Junior year I was floating between 115-119... rarely going under 115. By the end I was reaching 113, 114. I did not want to lose this. So, when summer started I not only kept up the good work, but increased it. Even on vacation I would run 2 miles every morning and work out every night. My food intake was impeccable. I would be eating such meals as hard boiled eggs, ham, plain yogurt, and meat. At the end of July I was at 111. Once I got back to Laredo I began increasing my intake little by little... only because my exercise was also increasing. Volleyball and Cross Country started, on top of my own personal exercise, so it was only natural.

Now I am at a satisfactory weight, but there are still a few problem areas. I think, however that I am determined enough to keep pushing until I am at perfection.

But hey, I gotta go. I am going running to the gym to workout lower abs/hips(love handles)/inner thighs. Yeap. I have my first official volleyball game of the season tonight. I gotta look the best and be the best. (Or so I hope.) ;) haha.... ayyy alanaa....

xoxoxo-taylor-xoxoxoxo -> [JuST dO It]

Deep Breath

2005-08-08T06:29:00.000-10:00

Now that I practically summed up the story of my life in the past half year I think we need a time to stop and take a deep breath. *Sigh*. Okay, much better. Now I am back to normal. Back to blogging about the same lame everyday events and rambling about my not-so-interesting life. Once I get better at this blog thing I promise my entries will be MUCH much cooler.

I am listening to "Time Is Running Out" by Muse. This will be our theme song for this post. Is time really running out? I always feel that way. I am only 17 years old and I feel that everyday the seconds are ticking and peeling away the life from my body.

The most stressing issue in my life currently is that of college. What a load of crap. I am so scared about applying and getting in. Is this not the deciding factor for the rest of your life? Whether you will "live long and prosper" or just live the average middle-class routine. I am not one of those people. I will not be forced to have a 9-5 job where I see the same boring people everyday and never go farther than 100 miles from my house. No that will not be me. I am set on being a nomad. I have dreams of traveling and discovering the world that most people cannot really comprehend. I don't know what it is about people and just not seeing "the big picture." Everyone I have ever met does not really plan on going to college out of state, and much less living in a different city. It's all about "coming back home." I have tried to comprehend this state of mind, however it just doesn't register to me. I see the world as never-ending. There is just wayyyy to much out there to sit here and wait for it to find you. I mean, how can you live life only knowing one thing? One way of life, one set of people... it just seems to surreal for me. It's okay though. Right now people are young and they are pretty much stuck to what the popular thought is. If it means all going to the same city and and college and taking the same classes so they can come back to live in the same hometown and live next to each other; that's cool. Not me.

I want to be unique. Famous. Wealthy. Happy. Unrestricted. I want to walk the cobblestone alleys of Paris, feel the warm sand of Cairo under my feet, follow the fashion trends of Milan, wager precious money in Monaco, drink hot chocolate in Moscow, exercise the great wall in China, snorkel the shores of Sydney, read on the beaches of Figi, and discover the tribes of Africa.

I want everything. Absolutely. No questions asked. If I could apply to college right off the bat to any place in the world I would. However, that is not a very typical thing to do where I live, and so there would be more struggles in doing so. However, I am confident that the college education in the US is very highly revered, so there will be no problem with an east coast school and an occasional summer studying abroad. Sounds good to me. First problem: choosing a major.

It is not as easy as you think. I have gone from wanting to drive a bus, to being a pianist, a teacher, a biochemist, an actress, and recently I have changed my mind from studying International Business to studying Law. Partly because of my own intutions and partly because of my parents, I have realized that Law is most likely the career major that I would like to pursue. It opens so many doors and can branch out to almost any kind of career. This is awesome for me who doesn't really know what she's gonna do in life. I have some sort of blurred image but right now I can't really get past the college part. Once I get accepted, I think things will unfold more easily.

So okay. I want to be a lawyer. What kind? I don't know yet. Don't ask me. All I know is that Law will take me to where I want to be. Now, what schools am I going to apply to? This is a toughie. To me, college has always been a matter of location, location location. Why? A young girl has to broaden her view of life during her college years, and this can only be done in a metropolitan sphere of life! Why would I want to go to a great school, yet be stuck in the middle of nowhere? I still do not understand this concept. It blows my mind. How can people take it?! Maybe it's just me. SORRY! haha.

Well, anyways. I think I have narrowed my college choices. My number 1 choice is Georgetown University in Washington, D.C. I'm pretty sure it's my ultimate choice because it has a great law school, it's in the metropolis HUB and it's ivy league. My second choice is Columbia University in New York City. The only reason why Columbia is not my first choice is because I still don't understand how to get into the law school. As far as I know it only has a graduate school, and if so, I do not know what to major in in the meantime. Does this make sense? Well, I would rather live in New York City, so it's a tough decision between my top two choices. Next comes in New York University in (NYC of course!). This school should be a safety. I think my grades are strong enough to ensure my entry into NYU and I am happy about that. Another school that shouldn't be too hard for me to enter is UCLA. I am not so sure about living in Los Angeles or it's business school, but it would be a change from the east coast kind of life and back to my west coast roots. I really miss California and I would truly enjoy being able to go to the beach every day. My "reaches" include Harvard and Stanford. Those are two schools that I would go to without a doubt if accepted. However, due to my failure to reach an above-average SAT score, my chances are slim. I mean, I do have a great GPA and I am ranked 4th in my class, as well as a part of endless extracurricular activities, but it just doesn't seem to make the cut. My two out-of-the-country schools are The American University of Paris and Richmond International University in London. These two are not exactly the epitome of great education, but to me it's the international aspect that is appealing. How many times do you get to live in the heart of a bustling european city? Maybe not until later in your life when you have reached a comfortable salary. That is why I am so interested in these two schools. As for my counselor, I don't think she will be pleased. She will force me of course to apply to Texas A&M university in College Station, TX and UTAustin. Two schools I would rather die than attend. It's nothing against them. It's just that it's all the same. It's the farthest most people from where I live go. And I want more. That's all. I have moved around the country enough to know that there is a whole nother world out there. I will also be forced to apply to Laredo Community College and Texas A&M International University in Laredo. Two wastes of my time. Whatever.

There's gotta be more to life.

So now it's down to applying. Something I have never done. (Obviously). This is probably going to be the most nerve-wrecking experience for me. Meeting deadlines, making interviews, writing essays.... GETTING REJECTED. What if my dreams are crushed? I don't know how I will be able to handle the news. Something I will DEFINETLY have to blog about later on. Well. For right now I don't have to worry about much. School starts on Thursday.

*Note to self: take ACT and 3 SAT II's by october. --->shit.

Why all the bullshit? - - - - -- - taylor xoxoxox

Fast Forward

2005-08-07T21:49:00.000-10:00

It is now August. Woah. 8 months later! I have been overwhelmed with so many events this year that I had totally forgotten about my blog! I am so sorry. I guess I will have to summarize to make it up to you.. right? Well, I bet this will be the longest post to date. Let's see... where did I leave off? Oh, right... January:

January ---------------------------------

Okay, well I am 8 months ahead so I am only going to be able to sum up the little I can remember from each month. January was (as far as I can remember) a great month. This is the month in which I hooked up with my boyfriend Julio. We really got to know each other all this month and finally on January 30th at around 12:30am - 1am he finally asked me out. It was great. We were really happy together and madly in love. School was the same as usual and as far as I can remember that's all that really happened. Oh, and I took the SAT for the second time... I got a 1080. :( (Verbal - 560/Math - 520)...(I had taken the SAT the first time in December when I had gotten a 1090 Verbal - 570 and Math 520) Also, my brother graduated so he left to California to stay with my uncle and relax until he comes back in July to start school at UTAustin. Only before he leaves to California he will spend the month of January in Paris with a friend.... how jealous I am.

February --------------------------------

This is the loveeee month. Hahah. No big fights yet! Me and Julio are together for 1 month and things are still perfect. At school my grades are great and in basketball we did pretty well. As far as the guys' basketball team - WOW! They were the first to win district at our school in like 30 years! How exciting right? They went on to host a bidistrict game at our school and win too! Then when they went to regionals they were matched up with the best in the state so they didn't win. (I went all the way to Waco on a charter bus just to watch them.) Now that my brother got back from Paris and got to california, I heard news that he has been cast as an extra in a movie called Jarhead, starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Jamie Foxx - - so unfair. This month I also went to Presidential Classroom for a week in Washington, D.C.! It was alright. I didn't HATE it but i didnt LOVE it either. I met some pretty cool people. Lenny the russian, Frances from Puerto Rico, and Stefano from Guatemala. OH! and there was this one guy... I think his name was Mike... i'm not sure, I can't remember, but he was SOOOO HOT! Woow! He was a total Calvin Klein Model. I was amazed. Hahaha atleast there was SUMthing good to look at, right? Well, anyways, it was a pretty good experience. All the people were pretty nice, I got to visit the Georgetown Campus, and it looks great on my resume. Oh, and the students were super smart. It kinda scared me to realize that they would be my future competition to get into college. So much for dreams, right? Oh well. (No SAT this month... waiting for new SAT in march :S)

March ----------------------------------------

March has two words: Spring Break. A recurring theme that will later arise in my JULY post as well. Let's just say that nothing good comes out of a bunch of 18 year old seniors in Mexico with alcohol and no supervision... for a week. Basically by March I am not necessarily slacking off in school, but it's just pointless. I feel as though the classes are actually making me more stupid than I really am. I took the new SAT for the first time. It was so much longer and a little harder, but I did pretty decent on my essay. I scored an overall 1740 (Critical Reading - 570, Math - 520, Writing - 650) I think I just suck at math I guess. I haven't improved at all. In other news, my brother has been having tons of fun in Cali. He has been an extra in the show The OC and also Las Vegas. He has also met many good connections including well-known actors and directors. So back to spring break. This year I went to California with my dad and one of my best friends Katie. We drove alllll the wayyyy therrreee. Yeah. But it was fun. We stopped in Mexicali (visited family), we spent time in San Diego (went to the zoo and the beach), we went to LA (disneyland!!) and we went to Las Vegas (the strip, baby!) then we drove alllll theee wayyyyy homeeee. Well, maybe it wasn't the most exciting spring break ever but it was pretty cool for being spur of the moment. At least we weren't at home getting fat, right? RIGHT! So where was Julio this whole time? Yeah, in CANCUN with his whole senior class. Partying. Drinking. Sleeping. Repeating. When he got back I found out that he even got his ear pierced one night. We will never know what fully happened that week in cancun 2005. Oh well. He told me what he did every day and I was satisfied (wait till JULY--it gets better). So.. things went on as usual at home. Softball had started and it turned out to be the worst season ever. Everyone either quit or got injured and it was just really a drag. On the other hand, I joined track! CRazY, right? Who would've thought. Well, I wasn't that bad either, and we even went on to win the district title! When the really good girls went to state they only lost by 3 tenths of a second. :( awww sorry guys! Next year! (hopefully).

April-------------------------------------------------

The year is coming to an end. There have been a few rough patches in my relationship with Julio - 3 months now! - but it's still going strong. My grades are fine. Life is fine. Sports are fine. I can't remember much about April except for the fact that it kinda dragged on and I just wanted the year to finish already. If I ever remember juicy details about this month I will remember to post again. Oh, and my brother has gotten a personal trainer, and he has been vacationing in Cabo San Lucas with my uncle very often. Super unfair.

May---------------------------------------------------

:( The 2005 seniors leave. There were so many memories with them and we will always miss them. They graduate, school ends, and things kinda slow down. Julio got accepted to Incarnate Word University and he is going to play soccer there. It is in San Antonio (only about 2 hours away) so we think that we can handle a long distance relationship. We'll see how that goes. Geoffrey is leaving to Galveston on a pre-med summer camp thing. He will be back in Laredo in a month and he will stay here to study in TAMIU. (4 months with Julio)

June-------------------------------------------------

Things start heating up. I have a Spanish LCC class at 8 in the morning and volleyball summer league in the evenings. I can't wait for the real season! We better win district this year because it's my last! In between class and volleyball I usually run, workout at the gym, swim, or bike ride with katie. On Tuesdays and Thursdays there's basketball at the school gym with Coach Memo, Coach Cuellar, and Dr. Esparza. They are super helpful and dedicated and we all appreciate their efforts. We have also improved tons in basketball and I am thinking that this year our team will be a lot better. This month is just kinda routine and relaxed. At the end of the month I start to think about where I will vacation for the summer and I set plans for going to Spain. However, they don't end up working out. Alyssa leaves to New York for a month. (5 months with Julio)

JULY--------------------------------------------------------------

This is it. In this month there is a lot of drama. My dad and I decide to do the same route as in Spring Break, only for 2 weeks instead of one because we have to go pick up my brother from California where he has been for the last 5 months. Katie goes to Steamboat Colorado with her family. Vanessa goes to Florida with her friend June, and later to nationals in New Orleans to place 8th in high jump. Way to go! Julio also goes to Colorado (Boulder). Anyways, during my trip I start a diet plan to eat less calories and workout more. I eat a lot of hard boiled eggs and plain yogurt, and I run 2 miles every morning. When we get to Las Vegas I run in the mornings and workout at night. It was a great 2 week vacation of eating right and exercising. I lost a total of about 5-7 lbs. I feel great. During my vacation, however, there's some bad news. Julio and I break up. Why? Well... remember cancun? Yeah... well, it's a long story. Too long to write (especially to strangers) but we break up after almost 6 months of being together. When we get back into town, things are akward and strange. My brother is back in laredo, Katie is back, and Alyssa as well. All is back to normal except for love life.

August-------------------------------------------

Now it is August. Things with Julio have been really rough, however, it seems as though it will be okay in the end. Katie and I have joined cross country, and volleyball has started as well. School starts and Thursday and I have begun to start posting as well. This time it will be for the long run. What will happen this year? Who knows... SENIORS 2006!

p.s. I feel like my life is an episode of Laguna Beach. Lol. Only not as pretty and rich.

luv y'all - xoxoxoxo - taylor

Quickly

2005-01-05T02:28:00.000-10:00

Ok super quick I just wanted to post a couple thoughts.

I hate my hair. I'm listening to "Don't Panic" by Coldplay. It's 2:30am. I have school 2morrow. I can't sleep. I love Britney Spears. I want my hair to grow back long again. I changed the song to "Nara" by E.S. Posthumus. It's late. I don't want to go to school. I'm not tired yet. Why is Britney so hot? I want to dye my hair red, but I'm scared it'll get damaged. This song is cool; it's in the movie Unfaithful and others; makes me think. Damnit, I'm only gonna have 4 hours of sleep 2night; oh well, rock on. School is shitty, i just want to go to college already where I might actually be productive and learn something useful. Why am I never sleepy?! (Cuz I wake up so late).

Ok that was cool right? Had kind of a pattern. Alright well after this song I'm gonna go to sleep.

P.S. Today we won our basketball game--first district game--how exciting. (I scored 4pts...need to improve)

Dehydration

2005-01-03T21:09:00.000-10:00

I feel like spaghetti. My body is of no use to me right now.

Last night I went to sleep at around 4am and I woke up this morning at 11:30. I had cereal (special K with strawberries) and then at 12 I took off. I ran to my friend's house and prepared for the long run to school. Yeah... you better believe it... all 4 MiLeS. It really wasn't that bad actually, and at the end of the run I was actually energized. Now that I think of it--too energized. When we got to school the exercise was not over. We made it just in time for our wonderful basketball practice. There we had a 3 hour practice from 1:30 to 4:30 in which I actually pushed myself to the extreme. I found myself literally "hauling ass" (excuse my french) up and down the court during a scrimmage and all the other drills we performed. I don't think I took into consideration that my body might actually not be able to take it. But at the time I was hyper as hell and ready to kick butt. By the end of practice I was stone cold. When I got to my house I had a big lunch (I was starving) that consisted of rice, meat, and chicken. After that (and a lot of orange juice) I took a longggggg hottttt showerrr. It was the best shower I have taken in a long time actually. I was practically falling asleep in there it felt so good.

Next came the relaxation. I put on my comfy pj's and grabbed my dog. We turned off the lights in my room and headed for the bed. Yeah... thats the stuff. I lied down and took a deep breath. I hadn't been so tired in a long time. Me and my dog rested our heads on the pillows and just crashed a good crash. Nothing beats taking a nap at any time of day whenever you feel you just gotta rest for a while. So I slept for a while and now I am awake feeling hot, full, and tired. I don't think I'm really dehydrated because I drank a lot of water, but I'm thinking I need to drink before. I've gotten dehydrated once before and it's not kool. But the more I drink water the more I feel like throwing. It's a horrible feeling. Can't anyone turn on the air around here?? Morons. Right now when I woke up I had another special K cereal. That's not too bad right? I think the "full" feeling is from all the liquids I've been drinking... not the food. (Or atleast I hope so). After all this exercise if I don't lose weight I'll be pissed. If it's the food I eat then I don't know what else to do. It's not like I can hire a personal chef/nutritionist or trainer or anything. I mean c'mon! I'm 16 years old and isn't this supposed to be the peak of my young, growing metabolism? If it is and I'm exercising like hell and nothing's happening then I am declared: screwed. I'm so sure that at 30, 40, or 50 I'll be looking remotely decent weight-wise. I'm gonna be fat forever! I shouldn't have to be worrying about these things. I'm young. I should be rewarding myself with hamburgers, chocolates, chile, hot cheetos, and other such junk food that could only add to the enormous weight on my hips. On the other hand I eat salads, fruits, yogurts, granola bars, and non-carbonated drinks. Yeah, what a great life. We'll see how this goes.

You wanna know an awesome song? "Free Bird" by Lynard Skynard. Oh my God is it awesome. I'm listening to it right now, and it's the best. It starts of slow and calm and speeds up. The guitar riffs are absolutely amazing. It's the kind of song you want to be listening to on the way to a ranch with your hot cowboy (matthew mcconaughey look-alike) boyfriend in his ford or chevy beat up truck. With the windows down and the wind in your hair, the sunset to the left and endless fields to the right. All he has on is his favorite white t-shirt and raggy jeans and boots. You have a summer dress on and a big smile. Evrything is ahead of y'all. And best of all... in the backround... playing on the stereo... Free Bird.

That's about all I have for now cuz I'm feelin like passing out.

Work it. Express it. Live it. Create it. Design it. [super kawaii] -- taylor

Late Night

2005-01-03T01:46:00.000-10:00

Bad got to worse. There was no movie. Another couple ditched and then all plans broke off. I ended up just going to my friend Katie's house and chillin there. Oh well. Yeah and I pigged out too. Dammit that house is full of food! It's like temptation island. I had chocolate, oreos, chicken, and granola bars. Yeah... so much for the new year's resolution.

It's ok because 2morrow at 12:30 me and katie are gonna run 4 miles to school and have practice and run back. I'm sure my body will like that one. If I don't go into a seizure then I am lucky.

Oh well... I am sure it will be fun. I've been training, so I won't do so bad. ;)

2005-01-03T01:02:00.000-10:00

Hey y'all this is just a crazy pic of me.

2005-01-03T01:00:00.000-10:00

That's me--being abstract.

Against All Odds

2005-01-02T19:34:00.000-10:00

I'm listening to "Against All Odds" by The Postal Service. It's an awesome song; the kind that makes you think. Perfect.

Right now I'm waiting to go out with my friends. We're really bored so we decided (or... i did) to go to the movies. We're gonna go see The Darkness. Hopefully it's remotely interesting or sCaRy at that. ".....take a look at me now..... there's just an empty space...." <<>

I've been trying to kill time until the movie starts in about an hour. I tried to get dressed and ready as slow as possible, and now I am here writing this blog. Meanwhile I also watched some "Viva La Bam" on MTV. It's a pretty funny-ass show. The only thing that makes me mad is how stupid idiots like those guys and the Jackass guys (pretty much everyone on "sunday stew") get paid to be morons. If I had it so easy in life... well, i don't know what I would do. Those guys get paid to be stupid, curse, be disgusting, and hurt themselves. Perfect fucking lifestyle for the punk/skater/don't-give-a-damn kind of guys. Nevertheless, they do make me crack a smile so who am I to be hatin', right?

Damn, time goes slow. Now I'm listening to "Lady" by Lenny Kravitz. It's one of my favorite songs. It turns me on so bad. Don't you just love to feel that Lenny beat? Ahh... words cannot explain. This fast-paced song is forcing me to start typing faster and write down words without thinking. This is no good because it makes sense to me, but the reader (whoever u are) will be oblivious to what I'm talking about. I'm crazy. Why would anyone actually read this? I'm lucky if I even remember to write in it, much less have someone read it. But if you do happen to stumble upon this blog then PLZ comment. I'd rather have comments that say my blog is shitty than none at all. Thank you very much.

I've gone hazy. My mind is whirling around in circles and my body is somewhere else. What is it with Sharpies that make you feel high? Haha... cuz I kinda like it. Ok I am stopping that now.

What I would give to be in a club right now. My right arm maybe? Maybe. To feel the heat of the bodies and the beat of the music resounding on the walls. Lights flashing and making your head spin while the bartenders pour out the tequila. Yum... suck on that lime. So good. But so bad. I want to go to a real big club where there are guys on the dancefloor. Not just any guys tho. They have to know how to dance. I don't mean they have to have taken classes or anything, just the kind that know how to move to the rythm the right way. They bump and grind against you and you follow with the flow. Yeah thats the best remedy. Hahaha I'm losing myself.

One of my girl friends just called to say she wasn't sure if she would go to the movie because that it's scary and the guy she likes just got into town. Once again the male has taken over. They have stolen all my friends!!! What to do... what to do...

Oh well. The movie will still be fun, even if it's only for me because I really need to get out of the house. I mean, I've been running everyday but that's the only thing I've really been doing. I need to get out and do something.

News flash. Another one of my friends and her boyfriend can't go because her mom said the movie was too late. Great.

Hahaha oh well. I think I'm getting too bored on this blog. I'll wait until something exciting happens.

Toodles -- Me xoxox

P.S.............i cant think of anything to leave u with. sorry

Recycling

2005-01-02T13:07:00.000-10:00

Why is it that with the New Year comes remodeling and recycling? People all of a sudden come up with resolutions and theories for the beginning of a new año. Everywhere you turn there's new diets, exercises, goals, and determined individuals who only get up off their asses once a year; january 1rst. That day they decide they are going to stop procrastinating and turn their lives around. If it were that easy then they would've done it earlier though.... don't you think? I think so. If you don't have the strength to clean up your life on any given day then what makes you think that you will be able to on the first day of January?

Right now my mom is in the garage with my dad cleaning out old junk and clothes... and stuff. It's all just a bunch of stuff really. No one knows what to do with it and much less if it will be of any use to anyone else. My mom then nags at me and tells me to clean out my bookshelf that has a bunch of junk so that we can throw it away or give it away. I went into my room, I took a good look around, and I returned to my mom telling her that there was no possible way that I could clean out any junk. Why? Well, first of all because there is too much of it; but secondly, because there isn't any of it! Why would I keep junk in my room? All the items in that place have some sort of meaning, or atleast used to.

- - - - -

Nah... it's not that I can't part with things; I can. Just I have 2 problems: either I think that they will be of use later on in my life (which they have been recently), or I am too lazy to do anything about it. I'm not even that lazy or disorganized really. If I put my mind to it I can really accomplish many things. Example: lately I have been running around my neighborhood for exercise. I never thought I would ever actually be running. If I think back 2 or more years running would be the last form of exercise that I would ever pursue. Now I actually find peace in it. I love it and I have been considering joining my cross country team. (Not that I will place in any races... but it'll be fun). Anyways, what started as a goal to run for exercise has actually become an addicting therapeutic activity.

There is a problem that I have found though. Atleast in my body.... there seems to be a glitch in the system. I find myself some days in a state of hypergymnasia. Exercising like mad at all times of the day. (And mind you that I have a pretty healthy diet). But no matter what I do, the pounds just don't seem to shed. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have lost my share of weight since freshman year, but that's just because back then I didn't do shit! (and i ate hot cheetos like every day--something you will find addicting if you ever come to Laredo). Now all of a sudden I seem to be stuck in a rut. I am at a state of equilibrium with my body. The intake of food is healthy, and there is always exercise everyday... but the pounds don't go away. I've tried mixing up the different food choices and the various exercises... but nothing seems to work. I wouldn't categorize myself as "fat" or "overweight", but not exactly a Britney or Jennifer or Heidi.
*Note to self: lose weight.

- - - - -

This holiday I have been renting a lot of movies--or atleast attempted to. It seems to me that all the movies in Blockbuster I have either already seen or have no interest in seeing. This is probably because my family is a bunch of movie-honcho critics who have gotten me to see practically every movie under the planet. No, I lie... I still have a lot of movies to watch. Okay so one movie I saw was Wicker Park. What happened to Josh Hartnett? Now that I think of it... he had kind of disappeared out of the movie scene, right? One second he was a "hottest hottie" and now he is a hottest no-body. After the movie Pearl Harbor I have not seen or heard of him anywhere. The movie was a mere 2 and a half stars from my point of view. It had a good idea, but it was really laid out well, and the ending. . . . . SUCKED. You go through a series of dramatic events rising to the climax that is non-existant! The only important parts of a movie are the beginning and the end. I mean, you of course need some kind of interesting part, but as long as you lure in the watchers from the start... you have them watching, right? And then, you don't want them walking away from the movie thinking there was no sign of a conclusion to the story, so you need a strong ending. But that is just your generally basic outlook. There is much more to a movie that needs to be worked on that I will not go into.

What's up with movies this year? The scary movies consist of the Ring and the 54th version of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. None deserve the Oscar, and comedies have become, well, a joke--no pun intended. There used to be a time when movies were funny, not stupid. This day in age the best that we can come up with is dressing a pair of black guys into "White Chicks." What I miss the most are the high school movies. There's been a gap since a good one has come out. You know what I mean... the Pretty in Pink, Breakfast Club, 10 things I hate about You, Can't Hardly Wait, She's All That kind. The closest movie to come close this year was Lindsay Lohan's Mean Girls, which was not as bad as I expected. I actually liked it! And Lins for that matter.

Anyways, I've been writing for too long. It's already 3:00 and I need my dose of daily running. ;)

Music for today's blog: Rodeo Clowns - G Love And Special Sauce & Jack Johnson

xoxoxoxox

Weird...

2005-01-02T02:05:00.000-10:00

I am finally back to post my last comment for the night. Everyone should read Julio's comments that he posted cuz they were $%^&* RANDOM!! hahah but its ok Julio I still luv ya! Nah actually it was pretty cool. I liked the whole fictional Junior guy from Dublin. Sounded like a hot mini-Beckham or something with probably more academy friends.

Note to self: no more eating late at night. (new year's resolution maybe?) Focus on Brit's abs.

G'nite finally y'all. I think I'm takin' off and like always--something to ponder:

Alice in Wonderland : Fantasy? or Ecstasy? ;) xoxo

Still can't sleep -- Insomnia part Deux

2005-01-02T01:56:00.000-10:00

It's been a couple hours since my last blog. I realized that I have been using this blogging in a sort of therapeutic/psychiatric way which I should not. I should really just write about interesting facts, shocking news, or anything else that is of interest for others to read.

I am sitting here in front of computer with a blank stare. I have downloaded all the music i possibly can from my Shareaza. From Lindsay Lohan to Led Zepplin... it's all there. I am sitting here in a long sleeve shirt and my brother's boxers while Girls Gone Wild plays on the tv in the backround. All i can think is: damn u marco. He made me put on comedy central to watch some funny tenacious D and now I am left with this shit. Let me go turn it off.

- - - - -

Ok good 'ol VH1 is back on. *sigh*. Anyways... meanwhile outside my brother has been sitting with some girl talking to her since god knows what hour. They've been out there forever! Oh well, none of my business right? As for me and my best friend Opie, we're here bored as hell. Scratch that--Opie's dead asleep. It's just me alone. I don't even have anyone to chat with. My friend Vanessa got on and got off as fast as I could blink my eyes, and Julio has taken atleast an hour and a half to post comments. I hope he atleast writes something interesting.

Being bored on the computer I've been searching through other people's blogs on the webs. I have discovered that they are all much more interesting than mine and well written. The people seem truly dedicated to the subject they blog about and stick to it. Plain and simple. That makes them so much easier to read. They are so much better than my sorry excuse for a "journal." Sometimes it seems like I'm just writing to myself because no one actually takes interest in reading this, much less myself in writing! --Julio has still not come back to talk to me....I'll wait-- Haha.

My car is a red ford focus. It's an okay car and it actually has a lot of room. The other day I went bowling with some friends and we bet who ever lost would wash the other's car. This task has yet to be fulfilled. Bitches. My car is fucken dirty because of the spontaneous snow that came about Christmas Eve. It was somewhat of a miracle actually. Snow has not come to southern Texas probably since the Ice Age and I had not seen it for a long time. Although not that much fell, a significant amount piled up on my poor car leaving a lot of dirt. Now it looks ugly. --Julio has responded... he just finished his comments. Right now I will check them out.-- The inside of my car is also somewhat horrendous. -- My brother has come inside. Maybe the girl is finally gone at 4 in the morning!-- Back to the car. I wish it was more surfed out. You know, the kind of car you can throw your surfboard on and keep your wetsuits in. The kind that smells of sand and sunblock and ocean salt. That would be an awesome car. Mine just has a pitiful orange lay hanging from the rearview mirror. I've been meaning to put a roxy sticker on the back but I just haven't gotten around to doing it. I would really like it.

My car is filled with gatorade bottles from basketball games, a shitload of scratched cd's, and jackets or sweaters left behind in the war zone. That's what my car is; a battlefield. Anything taken in that car pretty much gets left behind and has to fend for itself. If it's lucky someone will take it to the trunk where it will roll around and rot with the rest of the shit in it. I think I still have a sweater in my trunk that I borrowed from a friend (Katie) in, like, november that I've been meaning to return to her. Oh well.

--Julio wants me to read the comments.....BRB--

Insomnia

2005-01-02T00:28:00.000-10:00

Yeap. Grap a cup of coffee cuz we're gonna be here all day.

I never realized how free it can be to be on vacation. It's a pretty liberating feeling actually. There is no need to be stressed over homework or to wake up early the next day. Exactly the kind of life I love to lead. Only... there's one probably. If you're not 21 living in your own apartment you start to realize that you start to run out of things to do. You turn back to school. It's like a worm hole pulling you in deeper and deeper.

I think I am infatuated with Britney Spears. Even through all her boob jobs, boyfriends, marriages, flick-offs, hairstyles, fads, phases, trends, and dance moves. I lover her. If you ever walk into my room you will notice that the walls are covered with magazine pictures of models and what not. You will also notice that Britney is everywhere. I'm not exactly sure if it's because I idolize her, I want to be her or be with her... but she's there; in my life. Her music literally intoxicates me with a passion to be a dancer or a wild person. I don't know why. I guess it's the same feeling adults got about Elvis, the Beatles, or Madonna. Who knows.

So I never finished talking about my life across the country. Ok, how about a quick preview of my life. I was born in San Diego, CA. My family is from the border city of Mexicali, Mexico only 2 hours away from SD. We went to live over there when I was born until I was about 4. Then, we moved to La Jolla which is part of San Diego. I lived there until I was 12 when my parents told me that my father had gotten a job in New Hampshire. The next summer I found myself in Amherst, a colonial town only 45 minutes away from Boston. Good times rolled and after 2 and a half years my dad had another surprise move. This time it moved me down to Laredo, Texas. Oh boy. Somehow, I felt more at home in Laredo because it was another border city, and being from Mexican descent I could relate to the people. That is basically my whole story cut short for lack of interest in talking about it right now. I am sure that interesting stories into my past will arise later on.

I think I'm gonna take off now... try and get some sleep. I'll leave you with one thought tho -- boxers or briefs?

Back so soon -- High School Blues

2005-01-02T00:07:00.000-10:00

Hey. Quickly, I just wanted to mention that when I started my first post it was actually January 1rst, but when I finished it was the 2nd. Just wanted to let ya know.

So, yeah I'm really bored. I like to talk about anything and everything. How about my New Year's 2005? OK. Basically I spent it at my house with the company of my dog Opie. He's probably the only one who has really stayed by my side and been my true companion. Now I understand the phrase "man's best friend." I was so bored this New Year's eve that I spent the whole night sitting in front of the computer until sunrise. Yay. So this year was really boring. Now that I think of it my whole Junior year of high school has been summed up in one word: "blah." Nothing exciting has happened except that my grades dropped and it snowed. Yeah, it really snowed. I remember being little and dying to go to high school. I would dream about it probably every night, now that I think of it. I would always tell myself: "If only I was 16." Then I could really do something with my life, right? Wrong. Its just as boring as ever if not more. At 8 I was innocent and free. Now I am plagued with school, boys, and alcohol. Not exactly the best remedy for a confused girl. Yet--definitely obstacles I can tackle. :)

Skool. Shcool. School. It's even hard to spell. Where can I begin? I guess at the beginning. It's pretty much a hell hole. Let me start off by describing my high school. I don't think it's your typical "10 Things I Hate About You, Can't Hardly Wait, She's All That" High School. It's more like a day care for the rich offsprings of the .... not famous at all. To start off, it's a private school, yeah, Catholic. And no, it's not like a sexy Britney Spears catholic. Since I live on the border it's a mix of Tex and Mex (Laredo and Nuevo Laredo). So that basically leaves you with the Americans and the Mexicans. You're either from here or across -- obviously meaning the bridge. If you hear "across what?" then you know they're outta towners, like I once was. Yeah, I'm you're typical "new kid" floater. There's probably only 5 of us in the whole school. These are the ones who are "in" but don't have the childhood affiliation. (haha like my buddy marco ;) ) I've been to 5 schools since pre-school not counting the pre-preschool in mexico and I've lived in 4 cities. Wow. I never thought about it like that but it's a true shitload. However... it's a whole 'nother story I'll get to later. So-- the kids. If you ask me they're all a bunch of pampered, ignorant, pricks... but what can I say.

Alright let's get to the cliques/groups/gangs. First, the Jocks. They mostly consist of the same group of kids who grew up together since the age of 4 and were lucky enough to have parents who put them into sports. You know these kids... they're the ones who take up all the sports. Except for tennis and golf. There you'll see the mexicans who actually do some physical activity besides dance. Then theres the popular ones. Need I go on? I really think they're self-explanatory. Then you have the "chilango" mexicans. You know who they are... the ones who only talk in spanish and think they live in Mexico City. They talk in a whiny kind of way, carry their nextels (which most everyone does at my school) and wear puma soccer shit. On the other side we have stoners.... the ones who are obviously stoned. We have a couple goths/punks... typical... then we have nerds/geeks/"losers".
I'm kind of a floater. I mean, I have the group of people I usually hang out with but lately they've left me for their boyfriends. Yeah... I'm the last of the Mohicans. This has left me party-less, friend-less, and life-less. Well whateverrrrr. So back to my school.
My school is basically really small, full of rich kids with rich cars, and has sucky sports. This is a tradition that has followed St. Aug for-like-ever. I don't know why. Actually this year the boy's basketball team is quite entertaining to watch since they're actually not that bad. I have a lot of friends on that team including Julio and Geoffrey. (Two good friends who wanted me to mention them...hahahha). As for the girl's team (which I'm on) .... uhh... yeah... how about the volleyball team! They kicked ass this year going all the way to bi-district in Houston which we SHOULDVE AND SOOOO COULDVE won!! Softball and baseball are also pretty good. Actually now that I think of it... our sports don't even suck that bad just that we don't have that many athletic kids and the tradition has been to "lose." Whatever, I just wish we had a football team. That would be fun.

The principal at our school is a short, big-ass nun. And when i say big, i mean hugeee. She's some weirdo from chicago who can't speak spanish for shit and apparently has short term memory loss. She's fucked our school over so to speak. Nothing is the same anymore -- if it ever was. Everything is wacko which makes it kind of interesting. Without all the crazy scandals and shit going on people would just drop out or go somewhere else where they could save their money and brainpower. For example, we have a new cafeteria which is revered as "state of the art." Ha, what a joke. It's a piece of junk that is no better than the last one we had which was much more comfortable, home-y, and relaxing. Last year you could eat a somewhat "fatty", but nonetheless decent meal with all your friends, chill, and have time to go outside in the patio for some fun. This year you're stuck in a line waiting to get your weird vegetables and rubbery chicken where you have to take the id card that you were forced to pay for, yet they don't even ask for. There they charge you for every meal like some sort of scheme because before you know it you owe the school 50 dollars worth of food, you can't eat until you pay for it, and you probably would not have wasted so much if you didnt have your handy dandy "credit" card. How clever... let the kids charge away and that way they will be tricked into spending too much money! Poor kids... but wait, I forgot, most of them are well-off so they don't mind anyways.

Drama Drama Drama--the school is full of it.

Day 1... literally...

2005-01-01T23:10:00.000-10:00

The year has started with a bang. A big bang. A Tsunami more like it. This year (or rather the end of last year -- December 2004) the largest natural disaster I have ever experienced in my lifetime hit the beaches of south Asia. It is a devastating and tragic event that will probably change my life. The death toll so far as I have hear is at 120,000 but I am sure it is rising. When I first heard of the tsunami I thought, "oh wow, a big wave hit the beach." Now that I think of it, it wasn't just a big wave; it was more like a bomb. Before the tsunami hit, I got chills thinking of the tragic deaths of the 3,000 people in the WTC during 9/11. Now that number is seems miniscule compared to the HUndreds of THousands dead. I am not implying that 9/11 is insignificant, yet the proportion of deaths in the tsunami surpasses those of 9/11 substantially. I can't begin to imagine all the broken families, lost relatives, and mourning friends around the world who lost someone in the tsunami.

What a way to start off the new year with already more that 120,000 dead. It seems to me that the new millenium will be one of much tragedy. September 11th, the war on Iraq, the tragic tsunami... all just keep foreshadowing devastation for the world. Could this be some kind of test from God to try to unite the world? Or will it bring more disunity? Only time can tell. However, the superpower of the world not contributing enough money to the cause is not helping much. Already my family is preparing to donate clothes and we have already sent some money to Unicef. I believe the people of South Asia need all of the world's help and compassion during this time.
I cannot begin to understand how some Americans don't want the government to contribute as much money. It blows me away to think how hypocritical the people can be. Think back four years to 2001 and the twin towers... you all cried for help and support from the world. Now when it happens to someone else you turn your backs to the situation. As a superpower this country has a responsibility and duty to help those affected by the tsunami. This world needs to learn to help each other as humans for God's sakes.
Our president seems to be only thinking about himself. If I were president I would immediately pull out my troops from Iraq where they are fighting an endless war and dying for no reason, and I would send them to where they are most needed and truly appreciated. America used to be a country that was of aid to others in need. Now all I seem to be hearing is comments of disgust and hatred for the country. Words such as "stingy" and "selfish" come to mind when one thinks of the efforts that this so-called "superpower" has given towards this tragedy.

Anyways... I think that's enough sadness for today. I'm gonna go listen to some britney spears Armand Van Helden style. Peace Out.